Oh my God, I'm turning into Hello Kitty

#22 -- Mt. Rushmore

2007-09-26T18:32:00.000-04:00

A childhood picture of me and my family by Mt. Rushmore has mysteriously changed. The famous faces have transformed into that of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

#21 -- The Metro

2007-09-25T20:03:00.000-04:00

I got onto the last train car on the metro today. When I looked back to the tunnel behind us, we were leaving a trail of stardust and sparkles.

#20 -- The restaurant

2007-09-20T20:01:00.000-04:00

I went out for a romantic dinner at The Olive Garden last night and my server was Baloo from The Jungle Book.

#19 -- The socks

2007-09-19T12:19:00.000-04:00

Upon getting dressed this morning, I found that my socks are all adorned with a pattern of baby otters and smiling anthropomorphic flowers.

#18 -- The Magazine

2007-09-18T10:04:00.000-04:00

My subscription to Blender ran out. Now I've started to get Archie Comics.

#17 -- The phone

2007-09-14T12:46:00.000-04:00

My ringtone has spontaneously changed to a medley of Raffi songs.

#16 -- The cookie

2007-09-12T14:19:00.000-04:00

Upon finishing my chinese food, I was served a fortune cookie with the check. Before I had a chance to open it, the opening of the cookie pursed into lips. Then it sang "You are My Sunshine."

#15 -- The reminder

2007-09-11T15:01:00.001-04:00

I forgot to update this blog yesterday. When I woke up this morning, a variety of nymphs and woodland sprites were circling above my head. They were giggling, and held a banner that said "Don't forget to update your blog, sweetie!"

#14 -- The blood

2007-09-07T16:04:00.000-04:00

I had my blood drawn today for a physical. There were Lucky Charms floating in it.

#13 -- The movies

2007-09-06T15:02:00.000-04:00

I went to go see the new Halloween movie, expecting gore and mayhem.

Instead, they showed a video from my third grad production where I played a bunch of grapes in a play about nutrition.

#12 -- The library

2007-09-05T10:15:00.000-04:00

I went to the library today to pick up a copy of Slaughterhouse Five. All they had was One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.

Shelves and shelves of it.

#11 -- The Calendar

2007-09-03T00:17:00.000-04:00

Normally, I only use my Outlook at work for big meetings. However, for the past couple days, I have been receiving appointment reminders that I didn't even create. One was "Make hand-made Valentines this year and give them to strangers!" Another was "Give a bouquet of daisies to the lonely dowager down the hall!"

#10 -- The bank

2007-08-31T09:34:00.000-04:00

I went to the bank on my lunch break to deposit a check and to get some cash. I asked for fifty bucks and, instead of giving me two twenties and a ten, the teller gave me fifty dollars worth of vintage Care Bear trading cards.

#9 -- The gym

2007-08-29T20:21:00.000-04:00

I was working out in the weight room of the gym today. I was using that leg machine where you extend your legs while in a seated position. When I looked over at the weights, instead of bars of metal, I discovered that I was lifting a basket of sleeping baby sugar gliders.

#8 -- The cat

2007-08-28T20:36:00.000-04:00

There's a stray cat that has been lurking around my townhouse. Upon coming home from work yesterday, I found him on my sidewalk. He was dancing for quarters and talking to passers-by in a Cockney accent.

#7 --- The steak

2007-08-28T09:35:00.000-04:00

I ordered a steak for dinner last night and it came covered in cinnamon and sugar. With a side of crayons.

#6 -- Pajamas

2007-08-27T13:37:00.000-04:00

Normally, I just sleep in underwear. For the past several nights, a pair of those red full-body pajamas have been appearing, neatly folded, at the foot of my bed. The kind with the ass-flap, yellow buttons and the feet.

#5 -- The report

2007-08-24T08:24:00.000-04:00

I turned in a typewritten report at work today. An hour later, my boss emerged into my office and asked me both why and how I made all of the Is come out with hearts for dots.

#4 -- The underwear drawer

2007-08-23T08:21:00.000-04:00

I keep finding kittens curled up in my underwear drawer, nestled in a boxer brief. I don't know where they're coming from and it's impossible to keep my underwear clean and kitten fur-free.

#3 -- My beard

2007-08-22T20:21:00.001-04:00

My facial hair is growing in as cotton candy.

#2 -- The doctor's appointment

2007-08-21T20:19:00.000-04:00

I went to the doctor for a routine physical this morning. I waited in the waiting room for about 20 minutes before being called.

When the nurse emerged to call my name, she looked me straight in the eye and called my name as "Pinkyfinger Wonderstuff."

#1 -- The sickness

2007-08-20T20:15:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I went out drinking. After staggering off the metro, fumbling with my keys at my doorstep and crashing on my bed, I immediately felt the urge to throw up. I ran to the toilet as I felt my stomach upsetting.

It all came out as rainbows.