#10 -- The bank

I went to the bank on my lunch break to deposit a check and to get some cash. I asked for fifty bucks and, instead of giving me two twenties and a ten, the teller gave me fifty dollars worth of vintage Care Bear trading cards.

#9 -- The gym

I was working out in the weight room of the gym today. I was using that leg machine where you extend your legs while in a seated position. When I looked over at the weights, instead of bars of metal, I discovered that I was lifting a basket of sleeping baby sugar gliders.

#8 -- The cat

There's a stray cat that has been lurking around my townhouse. Upon coming home from work yesterday, I found him on my sidewalk. He was dancing for quarters and talking to passers-by in a Cockney accent.

#7 --- The steak

I ordered a steak for dinner last night and it came covered in cinnamon and sugar. With a side of crayons.

#6 -- Pajamas

Normally, I just sleep in underwear. For the past several nights, a pair of those red full-body pajamas have been appearing, neatly folded, at the foot of my bed. The kind with the ass-flap, yellow buttons and the feet.

#5 -- The report

I turned in a typewritten report at work today. An hour later, my boss emerged into my office and asked me both why and how I made all of the Is come out with hearts for dots.

#4 -- The underwear drawer

I keep finding kittens curled up in my underwear drawer, nestled in a boxer brief. I don't know where they're coming from and it's impossible to keep my underwear clean and kitten fur-free.

#3 -- My beard

My facial hair is growing in as cotton candy.

#2 -- The doctor's appointment

I went to the doctor for a routine physical this morning. I waited in the waiting room for about 20 minutes before being called.

When the nurse emerged to call my name, she looked me straight in the eye and called my name as "Pinkyfinger Wonderstuff."

#1 -- The sickness

This past weekend I went out drinking. After staggering off the metro, fumbling with my keys at my doorstep and crashing on my bed, I immediately felt the urge to throw up. I ran to the toilet as I felt my stomach upsetting.

It all came out as rainbows.